FUck the week.
Expanded:
I never really look forward to my birthday, and I easily forget why.
I hadn't noticed until the day after, that it is usually full of things that I don't want. Maybe it just feels that way because I am used to all of them being that way.
It's not that I don't have fun, it's not that I feel depressed,it's not that I feel old, but that usually the shitstorm heads my way on the surrounding days of my integer ways of surviving life. It feels like battling against the stream, until the water suddenly just freezes. Maybe tomorrow I'll be rowing with ease, but not for now, and not probably for a few days. I know I'll be tempted to just get out of the water, and watch the others play and swim, but I won't. My limbs can take so much more.
It's more than uncool that my thoughts echo out to a place where they are just others.
Singular form ignored.
No indexing.
The words never muttered.
emotions?
Just make me look like a fool.
Then I remind myself that they are just chemical reactions, and that sleep will neutralize them. Even the ones happening in my stomach, my mouth, my lungs. They will all float away with the flick of a switch or two.
Expanded:
I never really look forward to my birthday, and I easily forget why.
I hadn't noticed until the day after, that it is usually full of things that I don't want. Maybe it just feels that way because I am used to all of them being that way.
It's not that I don't have fun, it's not that I feel depressed,it's not that I feel old, but that usually the shitstorm heads my way on the surrounding days of my integer ways of surviving life. It feels like battling against the stream, until the water suddenly just freezes. Maybe tomorrow I'll be rowing with ease, but not for now, and not probably for a few days. I know I'll be tempted to just get out of the water, and watch the others play and swim, but I won't. My limbs can take so much more.
It's more than uncool that my thoughts echo out to a place where they are just others.
Singular form ignored.
No indexing.
The words never muttered.
emotions?
Just make me look like a fool.
Then I remind myself that they are just chemical reactions, and that sleep will neutralize them. Even the ones happening in my stomach, my mouth, my lungs. They will all float away with the flick of a switch or two.
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